Wait… Isn’t a Bidet Supposed to Be Cleaner?
Bidets are having their moment. Especially in eco friendly homes, they are usually praised like some magical butt fountain that is cleaner, greener and fancier than toilet paper. But are they? In a world of fake news could this also be a case of fake hygiene? Asking for a friend…
And sure, spraying water on your behind sounds better than just wiping, right?
Well… NOT EXACTLY! See, while bidets sound hygienic, the truth is a little more splashy, messy and honestly, kinda gross. So before you go replacing your toilet seat with a mini carwash, let’s rethink what clean really means.
They say a bidet keeps things fresh. But we say: soaking, splashing and hosing your butt with cold water and air-drying like laundry isn’t exactly luxurious or dignified. Butt being clean is everything and we feel you deserve to know the truth and so much more. This article will help you understand what personal hygiene means, and why Bidets are not as clean and not as safe as society wants you to think. And if you want to know the better, cleaner, safer alternative that does not cost you thousands of dollars, then read on….!!
Are Bidets Actually Better?
Let’s be real, bidets get way too much credit. But here are some key pointers that will splash water on your thoughts just as bidets do.
Bidets Don’t Really Clean, They Just Rinse
Bidets shoot water, that’s it! But that does not mean your butt is actually clean. Residue, bacteria, even poop particles can still stick around, unless you wipe afterward anyway. It’s like extra steps for the same result. A bit like putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher to be washed with water only and without dish soap. Ask yourself – would you still eat from the same plate after the rinse? Why not? Therein lies your answer.
Splash Drama: Hits Everywhere But the Target
Let’s talk about the mess. The water does not always hit where it should. Spray angle is a gamble. One wrong shift and boom — wet thighs, soggy toilet seat, or worse… wet pants. And don’t even get us started on public/shared bidets. EWWW!
Bidet Nozzles Can Be Bacteria Hotels
This part is really not talked about enough.
Bidet nozzles are exposed to the inside of the toilet bowl — and unless they are cleaned regularly, they can become home to bacteria like E. coli, Staph, and Enterococcus.
A study from Japan tested 192 bidet toilets and found bacteria on nozzle surface and spray water samples.
- 87% of nozzle surfaces
- 94% of spray water samples
Some even had ESBL-producing E. coli, which is antibiotic-resistant. So… yeah, that’s a big nope.
They Need Cleaning, Plumbing, and Power
Bidets are not just “install and forget.” They need regular sanitizing or they get gross. Plus:
- Smart bidets need electricity
- Others require plumbing adjustments
- Total cost? Can go up to $1,000+ (installers included)
Not ideal for renters, students, or anyone who is not a bathroom DIY wizard.
Cross-Contamination: A Hidden Danger for Women
This one is SERIOUS.
Most bidets spray from back to front. Sounds okay… until you realize that is the exact direction bacteria SHOULD NOT go!!
For women, that direction of spray can carry fecal matter toward the urethra or vaginal area, increasing risk for UTIs and infections. According to Cleveland Clinic, women are 30x more likely than men to get UTIs — and hygiene mistakes like wiping the wrong way (or back-to-front water spray) are common causes.
Scary, right? So if you think bidets are the gold standard of hygiene… might be time to rethink.
3 Reasons Why Butt Champagne Is Better Than a Bidet
Now that we have splashed all over the bidet hype, let’s pop the bubbly and talk about why Butt Champagne is winning the hygiene game.
- Reason #1: Better Hygiene, No Splash Drama
Let’s keep it simple. Bidets rinse. Butt Champagne cleans. There is only one choice.
- Butt Champagne Cleans, Lifts and Wipes– All in One
You pump Butt Champagne foam onto toilet paper. Then gently wipe. That’s it.
The foam has natural ingredients that clean your butt with soap, lift residue, and leave you feeling clean, no rinsing or follow-up needed.
So while a bidet just sprays and hopes for the best, Butt Champagne goes straight to the source and gets the job done. No splash. No mess. Just clean cheeks. - No Wet Seats, No Guesswork
No surprise spray angles. No bathroom puddles. No wet toilet seats.
You are in full control. Feel clean. Every time! - It’s Soap + Deionized Water = Double Win
Let’s talk about what’s in it.
Butt Champagne uses de-ionized water — meaning all the minerals and impurities are stripped out. So it’s cleaner, gentler and better for your skin than bathroom water which is not necessarily drinking water quality. Plus, Butt Champagne comes with our specially formulated foam that has simple, organic and natural ingredients. It’s like a detox for your butt.
Bidets squirt, splash and hope for the best. Butt Champagne gets it right everytime and gets the job done, without turning your toilet into a waterpark.
- Reason #2: Way More Convenient
Installing a bidet is not for the faint of heart.
- No Tools, No Setup, No Problem
- You need plumbing tools (who even owns those?)
- Or an electrician (good luck in a rental)
- Or you spend hours watching DIY YouTube videos and end up calling a plumber anyway
Butt Champagne skips all that. Just grab, pump and clean.
Bidet says ‘Let me call a plumber.’
Butt Champagne says ‘I got you, leaving you smiling cheek-to-cheek, wherever you are.’
- Reason #3: Safer for Your Skin
Let’s talk ingredients, because your behind deserves the best.
- Made With Natural, Soothing Ingredients
Butt Champagne isn’t just fancy foam. It’s mindfully and ethically formulated with:
- Organic Sunflower Oil
- Organic Coconut Oil
- Rosemary Extract
- Organic Vegetable Glycerin
- Deionized Water
No alcohol. No harsh chemicals. Just clean, soft, moisturized skin after every wipe.
- No Harsh Streams, No Cold Surprises
Bidets blast water at you — sometimes cold, sometimes too strong. And let’s be real… nobody wants a freezing water jet on their butt first thing in the morning.
Butt Champagne is gentle and skin-safe. Every time.
Bidets treat your butt like a windshield in winter.
Butt Champagne pampers it like royalty.
- You Control the Direction
With Butt Champagne, you decide the direction of cleaning. No accidental back-to-front spray.
That means no cross-contamination, especially for women.
The Future of Clean is Foamy, Not Flooded
Bidets are NOT the ultimate solution. They are splashy, high maintenance and sometimes risky. And when it comes to actual hygiene, they just do not measure up.
Butt Champagne is easier to use, safer for your body, cleaner for your bum and smarter for your life – let’s call this Hygiene Intelligence!
Don’t blast your butt with plumbing fixtures. Butt Champagne has a pump for every dump that will have its velvety foam soothing you as you rise from your toilet throne. Ready to stride into the day like the cheeky legend that you are.
